At The Cedars, we see many patients enter our facility at various levels of brokenness. Jane walked into our facility in 2015, desperate and seeking a way out of the vicious cycle of pain and disappointment she was living in. Read her story of strength and hope below.
Jane – “I value my recovery above everything. “
What it was like
By the beginning of 2015 my alcoholism had taken me from a fully functioning wife, mother, colleague and friend to a round the clock drinker whose first thought on waking was where I could get my first drink. My entire life revolved around alcohol. Where would I buy it? When I could have my first drink? Where could I hide my bottles? How was I going to live so that no one would realise quite how bad things had become?
Everyday I vowed that I would stop tomorrow but the reality was that I never could. I had no healthy relationships, my marriage was hanging by a thread, my son had stopped going to school by the age of 14 and yet I still couldn’t put down a drink in waking hours. I reached a point of desperation and felt like I had only two options – stop drinking or kill myself. Killing myself often seemed like the easier option as the thought of not being able to drink for the rest of my life felt terrifying and impossible. I asked for help.
I entered treatment at The Cedars in February 2015 on a Thursday night in the middle of a power cut. When I came around the next morning I expected to be in some sort of luxury spa where I would float around on detox medication in a fluffy robe having lots of therapy where I could blame the world for my alcoholism.
I arrived full of self-pity and completely lacking in gratitude. I knew I was an alcoholic but I didn’t know what that really meant. At The Cedars, I was taught the basics of the 12-step program and how to apply that in my life. With the help of my counsellor and the team, I was able to look at myself, my life and my relationship with the world around me. I was able to see for the first time how my alcoholism affected my family.
Stopping drinking was just the beginning of my journey into recovery.
The counsellors at The Cedars are all recovering addicts who had been through the same processes as I did. They knew who I was, when I had no idea. They saw me at my worst and helped me recognise what I needed to change in order to stay sober. They saved my life by loving me in the way I needed to be loved and not how I thought I ought to be loved. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I certainly didn’t make it easy for myself. The Cedars never gave up on me. Amongst the hard work and long days, I found laughter, friendship and most importantly hope.
What it’s like now
My life now is so different to the shell of a life I lived before I found recovery. I work hard for my sobriety. Alcoholism is a progressive disease so I need to make sure my recovery progresses too.
We were promised ‘gifts of recovery’ in treatment.
Today I have a strong relationship with my husband. My son has gone back into education and is excelling at his studies. I live a life that is truly beyond my wildest dreams. I value my recovery above everything. I work hard for it and to this day continue to keep building on the firm foundation I was given by The Cedars.
A whole new life awaits you or your loved one at The Cedars. Our doors are open 7 days a week. We have two rehabilitation facilities based in KZN, on the South Coast and in the Midlands. Get in touch with us today or let us call you and we can discuss the possibilities further.